I think I'm starting to get into that Pining for England' thing again which is slightly worrying. I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, after all I haven't been back in a year.
The UK newspapers show nothing but doom and gloom so who knows why I want to go back but it's still there...hovering over my head every time things get shitty in my life (like the lack of job,boyfriend, stupid diet cycle I've been on for the past couple of years.)
Do you know what the annoying this is? I could go back to England tomorrow and be fine (if could find a job, house etc.) I would be happy growing old in the UK, having English children (I really wan't my hypothetical kids to have English accents) eating baked beans of toast etc. But my Parents and Brother will probably stay here forever (Well, My Parents would probably like to have a home in each place but my Brother will never go back) So if I made the choice to go, I'd be on my jack...again.
And it would be my choice to separate from them, not the other way round. Some wouldn't understand why that matters so much, but my family are really close. We moved around so much we had to get used to each others company...and to be honest it sucks to be without it.
I'm fed up of trying to figure this crap out. I would love to have one of those lives where everything falls into place. But that just doesn't happen like that. I think the whole running away to a little village and running a used bookshop thing looks really good now. I'm just tired of trying for things that don't happen. Sounds like it would be a nice, quiet life and maybe that's what I need.
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