Whenever my Mum's out of town (she's in England at the moment) I seem to turn into a domestic monster. I become a tea swilling, dishwasher obsessed, laundry folding nightmare. I compulsively pick up plates and arrange them in the dishwasher, when before I would simply leave them on the side for the magical fairy to place in the Stainless steel behemoth. Stains are wiped up, trash emptied and recyclables placed in their proper bins as if by some otherworldly power.
My bedroom is never so tidy as when my Mother is away. Clothes are folded neatly or hung in my cluttered wardrobe, trash is picked up off the floor, books are placed neatly on shelves and things actually get dusted.
As well as the alarming need to be 'neat' I also take on some of my Mum's other quirks, like drinking huge buckets of tea, craving Starbucks and watching home makeover shows. I don't even own a home, why the hell am I watching this stuff?
It always becomes a little unnerving, until she comes back and we can revert back to our natural roles, her the neat domestic goddess, me the perpetual mess (in more ways than one).
Well I have to go and get dinner ready (another frightening symptom of my Mums absence), although it's only pizza, so I guess I'm still in control where it counts.
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