Awesom Times (Sarcasm is the Lowest Form of Wit)

I went to my bank website today and was in for a bit of a shock when I realized I only have $45.99 to my name. It's a shame I can't afford my credit card payment or health insurance (which has inexplicably been put up $80 in the last 2 months!) but lucky for me I get to beg and grovel at my parent's feet to put me out of my financial misery. I swear, If I have to do this much longer my self respect will be nothing but a minute little dot. A freckle on the face of my conscious.

Even Ella Fitzgerald (and her scat) can't cheer me up. I suppose because mostly she's singing about unrequited love, romance or infatuation, all things that are unsurprisingly missing from my life at the moment. Damn you Ella and your fab voice! Is there a song about lack of cash or bankruptcy that I don't know about? 'cos that's what Ella needs to sing to me.

I've been trying to keep myself as busy as possible after my financial revelation. I'm baking soda bread at this very moment and this morning spent hours painting aprons for friends of my Mum. I messed up a couple so part of my $46 will have to go towards buying replacements. The rest do look quite good though. After this project's over I'm hoping to get commissioned to paint ornaments, I can't afford to do it otherwise and I think that's why I remained sane through the last holiday season.

I still haven't heard back from any of the jobs I applied for. I'm starting to think it's me, because every other brainless douche seems to be able to get hired. What is it about me? Is it because I'm foreign? am I not American enough to deserve a job in Michigan at the moment? Well F**k off, I've suffered right along with everyone else in Michigan. Amusing that I'm not American enough for a job here and not English for a job in the UK. Maybe Starbucks is hiring in Timbuktu! F**k it, I'm sick of all the bullsh*t, the stupid interviews, the inane application forms, dressing up like a f**king fairy princess!!! come on!!!!

I'm going back to Ella now, she's singing "I Have a Crush on You" and I'm going to fantasize about a 6ft tall Australian surfer who wants to whisk me off to Sydney and marry me in the botanical gardens...and if that doesn't work I'm going to drown my sorrows in soda bread and tea (OK, vodka)