Seen and Not Heard

You know what? I'm pissed off today. I'm genuinely irritated and I don't know a better way to get out my misery and resentment than on this blog.

I still haven't heard about any of the jobs which is driving me pretty crazy. It's true that a few years ago I'd never been to an interview where I hadn't gotten the job, normally within the next 24 hours. This new reality is nothing if not soul destroying.

I'm getting fed up again. The funk is back (and not the good kind of funk). I want to stay in my pajamas for days, eat Halloween chocolate until I throw up and have no consideration for hygiene. I want to eat fish and chips and toad in the hole, I want to go visit my Nan who has to start chemo again, I want to comb through the bookshops of London, I want a miracle, I want my friends to be happy, I want someone to tell me it'll be alright and not be lying. Most of all I want someone to enlighten me on what horrible, karma sucking thing I did in a past life or my current one to deserve such a long and perpetually difficult couple of years!

I really just want to be happy. I'm not even asking for it all. I'm not asking for the dream man and the dream job, just one or the other. It doesn't even have to be the dream, just the man or the job.

I'm going to drown my sorrows in hot chocolate and the antiques roadshow. Yeah, the roadshow cheers me up, that's how low I am.