For Hettie

The picture above is of my family (on my Dads side) It's the wedding of my Great Grandfather to my Great Grandmother. I've always been very interested in my ancestry and have really enjoyed using ancestry.com to research it (even though we have now had a falling out...but don't ask.) However, the person I'm most interested in is the woman in the first row at the far left. Her name was Harriette "Hettie" Simmons.

I'd never really paid that much attention to her until yesterday, when my Dad told me her story. Hettie had been in love with a man named Harry who fought in World War One. He was sent to France and would send back postcards documenting the destruction of the country. Some were even made of silk and portrayed beautiful buildings aflame. Harry didn't write on the postcards if he could avoid it and instead sent them with an accompanying letter. My Dad told me all of this yesterday as he brought out Hettie's album of postcards. He told me Harry had died during the war and that a heartbroken Hettie had never married...and then we found something strange.

While looking through the postcards we came across a couple that had been written on. Harry lamented his lack of paper and seemed to regret having to write of the back of a picture of a crumbling building. But it wasn't the picture that caught our eye, it was the date. It was from 1919, a full year after WWI ended. How could he have died in the war if he was still alive in 1919?

Our three hour mystery was solved by a frantic email to my Grandad who set us straight. Harry didn't die during the war, he returned home and jilted Hettie! I thought twice about blogging about this. After all I'm sure that when Hettie was alive she didn't talk about it and I don't want to betray her trust, even though I never met her.

I have however, thought about it and feel that being abandoned by the one you love says more about the man than her. Harry came home and married someone else and Hettie carried on with her life. She never married. Years later Harry's wife died and he went back to Hettie, asking if they could give it another go. Hettie's mother, my Great Great Grandmother, told her not to go back, and Hettie took her mother's advice.

I don't want to judge Harry too harshly. After all I have no idea what the details are but upon reading his notes to Hettie I find it hard to believe he could just stop loving her.

Speaking of Hettie, she had a full life. She lived in Great Yarmouth her whole life and worked in a clothing shop. She made corsets and later fitted and sold them. My Dad knew her when he was younger and said she was a delightful little old lady (she was shorter than my 5 ft tall Grandmother) who had a mound of fluffy white hair piled onto her head in a bun. I wish I had known her. It must have been difficult to be an independent woman in her time and I'd love to know if she regretted her decision the rebuff Harry. I also wonder if Harry kept the letters she sent him like she kept his postcards. I'd like to think Hettie had a lot of suitors after Harry and that it was her choice to be alone.

Hettie was a spinster her whole life and the knowledge that she had a fulfilling life does appease me a little. After all if I never marry I'm not going to stop existing am I? I hope to learn more about Hettie in the years to come and perhaps I'll find out exactly what she thought (is a long lost diary too much to hope for?) Until then I'll scour Harry's postcards and see what their love was like, even if it was short lived.