Being Resolute

I have to say I feel nothing but frustration at the moment. Sitting on the couch, watching Elizabethtown with a trash can full of used tissues next to me...I am just full of frustration. It's funny, I can talk about almost any subject and I'm fine but talk to me about work, job hunting, a career of any kind...and I burst into tears.

It was my Mother who brought this to my attention. I thought this kept happening because I was just unhappy, but I'm not unhappy, I'm just crying out of soul destroying frustration. I know what I want, I know logically how to get it, but for some reason this logic isn't understood by the rest of the universe.

It's not just a job that I'm looking for. I'm waiting for the rest of life to start...not even waiting, I'm trying to get it to start.

I've obviously never lived through a recession as an adult before. When I was little I had little knowledge or interest in this sort of thing and from what I can remember it wasn't ever discussed. All I knew was that I'd get dolls brought back for me when my Dad got home from a business trip. I didn't know he took the business trip because there was little engineering work in England at the time. These things just don't occur to little girls.

So as i sit here in the couch, watching a cheesy movie about love and life all i know is that i want both and that I'm not just going to sit around and wait for it...I'm going to chase it. This is my resolution not just for the new year, but for life. Whats yours?