I think we started off on the wrong foot. I think January was bad, things got better when I landed an internship in February. I found it hard to hate you when I had money coming in. however, when March rolled around, and I had to move out of the house things just went from bad to worse.
This is/was my 25th year! It was supposed to be great. Things were supposed to fall into place. I was supposed to figure some stuff out, be given a chance to prove to the world, and more importantly myself, what I was capable of. Unfortunately all I learned was that after eight months my ass can make a sizable dent in the sofa. I learned that I am not lucky. I learned that when a shit storm starts in my life, it takes an eternity to dissipate. And I learned that a quarter life crisis is more than a phrase in a song.
I suppose I can't blame all of this on you. 2008 was a bitch too, but I expected so much better from you. I wanted freedom, I wanted to figure out what to do with my life and have the opportunity to fulfill it. I wanted to be happy, a feat that remains stubbornly absent from my life.
All the potential you had in January, all the ways things could have worked out...and they didn't. I didn't want it all, I understand that a life without challenges is pointless and unsatisfying, but come on! I don't know if you and Karma teamed up to kick my ass this year but it sure seems like you did. Did I commit some offense against the universe at large? or were you just difficult out of spite?
I know we're not done with each other yet, we still have 25 odd days left and I think we should call a truce. I apologize for whatever I did to upset you and I would like you to make things just a little easier for the remainder of the year. I'll appeal to 2010 for an easier time of it next year and hopefully we'll be able to come to some sort of agreement. For now I am hopefully that this last month of 2009 will help make up for the rest of it. Do we have a deal?
No comments:
Post a Comment