I read a quote somewhere ages ago that said something like "happiness is a journey not a destination" I have no idea who said it but found it circling around my mind when I woke up this morning. Happiness is generally the driving force of our lives, it's the reason we make the choices we do but I often think the quest for happiness gets eroded by the practical, basic needs of everyday life.

Happiness is great in theory, in practice it's slightly more difficult to come by when you have $30K worth of student loans to start paying off in February, cars to run, clothes to wash, gyms to force yourself to go to and eight hour days which turn into ten hour days if you include travel. As a girl who needs twelve hours sleep in order to function on a given day that gives me precisely two hours a day to contemplate what will make me happy.

As I result I often feel utterly baffled by what I want from life. I'm very conscious that in less than two years I'll be 30, the age when society tells you it's all down hill. Still, the quest for happiness is never far from my mind and often drives my rather erratic, sometimes baffling behavior.

Unlike most people whose daily lives and practical needs overrule their decisions I seem to be the opposite. I make bad choices despite the fact that it's not the most practical thing to do. After all, life is short, why spend one more minute than you have to doing something you hate?

I can feel myself getting restless, twitchy again. It's the same feeling I've had in the past that has led be down the road of unemployment, bad haircuts and worse relationships. So what do I do? honestly, I need you to tell me! do I continue the pattern, follow the quest for happiness no matter what the cost or consequences or settle down, accept that happiness isn't always feasible and try and get the best out of a bad situation?

I often wonder if my substantial imagination and love of fantasy makes me unsuitable for modern life. I'd probably do better as a character in a book where every move is plotted carefully by someone with a view of how it should go.  Maybe my expectations are exceptionally high. Maybe I need a dose of reality, a proverbial slap to the back of the head that wakes me up and forces me to face my reality. One that says "this is your life, this is what you need, so stop worrying about what could possibly be and get on with it!"

I don't know what the answer is. Do you?