It's true that I know very little and anything, but the basic nature of blogs like mine is to ruminate on the in's and out's of life, no matter how small or inconsequential they may seem at the time. I haven't discovered anything new in the past few weeks and months that has changed me one way or the other. Nothing remotely dramatic has happened, unless of course you could battling the hordes at Ikea. In truth I find myself stagnant, lingering in the same spot, unable to move or change.
People say things happen for a reason. That difficult chapters in your life add to the adventures that are yet to come. As a hopeful writer and utter romantic I like this idea, however, the cynic in my believe it to be false. What if this is all you get? no adventure, no excitement, just the day to day rumblings, going shopping, watching TV, dieting, eating...
I find myself diving more and more into the world of books at the moment. Most of the time it's nothing overly cerebral but I often find the best stories aren't. If I wanted to be taught a lesson I'd go back to school, I don't want it shoved down my throat in a book.
I just finished rereading the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan which for me is right up there with Harry Potter. They share the same upper most shelf on my favorite books list. I secretly think I'm a frustrated adventurer. I'd love to know the feeling of going on an adventure like you hear about in these stories. Unfortunately life often gets in the way. Logic is the enemy of the adventurer and unfortunately, I seem to have logic to spare.
As the weather begins to turn and the leaves fall I must admit I'm worried how it will effect my mood. Fall always brings for me the promise that most people get from spring and while it doesn't shuffle in the new, the darkness and cold weather are very much things that make me happy. So much is up in the air for me and while other people complain about their jobs and bills and significant others I can't help but envy them and wish I were doing more than simply existing.
People underestimate the importance of the day to day. By going to work, grocery shopping, answering the phone you are all connecting to people. The absence of that connection is very disheartening. Ask any other unemployed person and see what they miss about working. It won't be keeping busy or doing the job itself, it'll be the possibility of meeting new people, making new connections and having a separate life from the one you have at home. That is what I miss the most. I have hated every job I've ever had...but I still want one, because I've met some of the best people and experienced some of the greatest things because of those jobs.
Perhaps I misspoke (well, mistyped) when I said I wasn't feeling analytical and thoughtful, I guess I am. I have a huge amount of faith in the fates. I believe that some things are meant to be and I know that nothing is thrown at you that you can't handle. It is perhaps this belief that keeps me on an even keel...but it wouldn't hurt if things started to get better soon...just sayin'
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